“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” — Proverbs 20:5
The deep water that is our heart’s purpose is daunting and ominous, exactly like the depths of the sea. There’s no better way to describe it. As I have been catching up with my college friends most conversations have at one point or another been centered on what each of us will do after college. Some of my friends have already graduated and others are like me, and will walk the stage (which feels like the plank) in May.
I’m reminded of seafaring movies, where people are pressured toward the plank and then forced, inch-by-inch, into the water. It seemed like a great analogy for what I am recognizing college to be — a polite pressure to find your deep water or a nudge to find the vast sea of opportunity you are supposed to navigate.
But the analogy only works if you are OK with the illogical. If, for a quick second, you throw out your realism and use your imagination. The only way the Peter Pan-esque plank walk can be like most college kids’ search for a purpose is if the person pushing you down the plank toward the water is in fact yourself.
That is how most of us currently live. We make the ultimate decisions and we don’t take a step unless we want to. It’s a pretty lonesome way to live.
Along the way we have had mentors, teachers, friends and family members help us decipher our puzzling thoughts. We have had long conversations over coffee or pizza discussing exactly where we envision ourselves and just how we intend to get there. But these conversations are normally one-sided. It’s pretty much just you talking and someone sitting and listening to your dilemma.
It’s helpful to get your thoughts swirling around in the air in front of you and it is much easier to realize how stupid you are when you see a friend’s reaction. If the thought is dumb enough, your friend won’t even have to tell you. The minute it leaves your lips a tinge of stupidity will course through your body.
So, that made me think that perhaps we are doing this all wrong. We should stop talking and start listening.
The verse from Proverbs could be talking about two people. One man looking for his purpose and another, more understanding man, that is there to help him.
To me, this verse encapsulates how we think during this time: we need to realize that we don’t yet understand.
I am the man looking for a purpose and I have surrounded myself with men and women of understanding to help me draw out whatever step I should take next.
So, yes, you are the only one who can make yourself move. But my suggestion for anyone going through this esoteric adventure is to surround yourself with understanding people.
That means people who understand the gravity of choosing wrong. Live your life among those who recognize the big picture. This group should include people who have graduated, entered the work force,continued their education, 0r yes, even people who have still not figured out what they are here to do. Talk to married people and single people, people with strong family ties that pulled them back home and people who moved to the complete opposite of their hometown. Talk to your pastors and counselors who see so many students like us in our exact situation every year.
I’ve found this to be really helpful as I hunt for my next chapter in life.
Be surrounded by men and women of understanding, and soon enough you will understand: it’s not about you. It’s much bigger than that.
- Nick
I think this is really good advice/insight. As a sophomore, I’m not quite to the plank yet but there are key steps to that point and getting other people to look at it gives a fresh aspect to it all. Sometimes you just get bogged down in all the details and you can’t get past them. I have been blessed with meeting mentors who have always been there for me throughout college thus far. Woodway’s college ministry gives you the chance to meet up with adults who attend Woodway (I think it’s called the 3 to 1 something something…). It may be awkward at first, but I can’t explain how much you will LOVE getting to meet these people and learn what they have to teach you.